"as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings"

Today was one of those days that I knew would come eventually, but caught me completely off guard at the same time. Brenna came to me and said "The F-word is a bad word". I was kind of shocked. I asked how she knew about the F-word, and she told me that a girl in her class at school told her. Then I asked if she knew what the F-word was and she said yes, that this girl had told her what it was too, and that a boy in class had also said it. Part of me feels like I should have expected this. I did make the choice to send her to public school, what more could I expect? But most of me wants to cry. Kindergartners?? Really?? I was not introduced to this kind of thing in Kindergarten! I know this isn't as bad as it could be. There are a lot of evil things that would be a lot harder to get rid of once she had been introduced to, so I guess I need to be grateful for that, but it makes me worry that I am not equipped to keep her safe in a world turning so bad. How do I do enough to protect her, and all my children, from the evil things that they are bound to see?

Then I found some peace in the scriptures. Today I am in 3 Nephi 10. Verse 4 and verse 6 both mention that the Lord would gather us as a hen gathers her chickens under her wings if we turn to Him. To me that means He wants to protect us. He knows the evils we will face, and He wants us to stay close to Him so that He can keep us safe. One of the most comforting things about reading this today is that I know this is true. As I look back over my life I know I have been protected when I have tried to live close to the Spirit. I have had help and protection in so many ways, probably much more than I deserve, and although I know I am not even close to perfect, I can see the blessings that come from righteous choices. There is so much comfort in knowing that we are not alone in this life. I love that the more I learn about our Father's plan, the more I feel that He prepared it perfectly, with every detail and intricacy accounted for. I truly believe that he has given us every single thing that we need to be able to return to Him. So I can take comfort. With a perfect plan to follow and a Savior who fulfilled a perfect Atonement that He could be our protection, I think everything is going to be alright. I am equipped to help my sweet children make it through as long as I stay close to the source of true safety.

God Blessed the Furnace

I have a lot of things I've wanted to blog about lately but haven't really made the time, so I'll have to get back to those. Two days ago we turned on the furnace for the first time in our new house. I say new but really its over 50 years old. Well the furnace didn't turn off.... the house just kept getting hotter and hotter and nothing we tried with the thermostat worked. Eventually we just had to flip the switch on the furnace itself to get it off. Then yesterday when I went to turn it on because the kids and I were really cold and the space heater wasn't doing enough, it wouldn't turn on at all. Nothing I did worked and when John got home nothing he tried worked either. Throughout the day as I got colder I started to get a little depressed. I knew this is something we would be able to get fixed, I just didn't know how much it was going to cost and how long it would be till we did.

Then today, still nothing. We just couldn't get it to turn on......

Around lunch time I was texting my best friend who I haven't talked to for a few months, thankfully not thinking of my own problems for once in my life, and she told me about something that had happened in her life and I was so impressed by her faith. Everything she said was so uplifting and I was reminded of how God loves each of us so personally. I hate that right now I struggle to see that. I have no reason to forget how amazing He is to us, yet I do. After talking to her I started cleaning up the kids as they finished eating lunch, feeling blessed for being uplifted and suddenly I realized I was smelling a weird smell. And all of a sudden it hit me the furnace was on!!!! By itself, and then a reasonable amount of time later it turned off (and since then it has happened twice)! John had done something to it while he was home for lunch but neither of us thought it would do anything. I know this seems like such a small thing but to me, having two small children and long, cold, Wyoming winter ahead of us, this is huge. This is a real answer to my prayers. And I know our heating problems might not be over, but this is how God let me feel His love right now and I feel overwhelming blessed! If it hadn't been for that conversation with my friend maybe I would have missed this and passed it off as coincidence, but I know it's much more than that. I am reminded that He is in the details of our lives and anything that is important to us is important to Him because He is our father and he loves us beyond our comprehension.

February and March

A lot has happened since I last posted, and I feel bad that I'm already getting behind (but not that bad because I only skipped February, so secretly I feel like that's really good for me). First off I got a new calling. I have two now. I've been on the Enrichment committee, or whatever it is actually called now, and then the beginning of last month they asked if they could give me another one. I was thinking it would be ward librarian or something. Nope. They asked me to be a Sunday School teacher for the 12-14 year olds. At first I was a little terrified, but oh my gosh! Can I say best calling ever!? Ok I won't go that far, but I really love it so much! My first week I was shocked at how similar it was to substituting Sunbeams because they talk and get sidetracked like crazy, but I think I'm learning how to work around that and most weeks we get through the lesson pretty well. I don't know if its just the kids I get to teach or if I actually like teaching, but I feel so blessed to get this calling right now!

Next my grandpa passed away. I was going to dedicate a whole post to this but had a really hard time saying what I wanted to about it, so I will just say that I feel so blessed to know I will see him again. God's Plan of Salvation is real and it is amazing! The more I learn and understand His plan, the more I am in awe at how merciful He is to us. He loves us so much!! And I know that because of that love, and through Christ's atonement and resurrection, I will get to be with my grandpa again someday. Of all the people who wanted me to keep going with the violin he was probably the one who encouraged me the most. He told me years ago that I had to play at his funeral and I'm so glad I was able to do that while my sisters sang. I think he would have loved it. Maybe he and I will get to be in an orchestra in Heaven together :)

And another big event, my sister got engaged!!! Although its sad to be losing her, and one of the one and a half people who text me, I am so excited for her! I can't wait to see how they do together because although I think they will have some things they'll have to work out (like everyone else), I think they will be great for each other! And I'm really excited to have a reason to buy a new outfit...

And just for fun, here are some pics!

 Matching pouty faces...

 This one isn't a great pic but they were having so much fun playing with this giant Frisbee! 

I love seeing how much she loves her grandma and grandpa!!

My New Year

In the past few years New Years has meant nothing to me. I don't write resolutions because I feel like that's setting myself up to break them, so I just make goals randomly through out the year. However, this year feels SO different! I don't know what it is, but I feel like this year holds so much potential, and I'm really looking forward to it.
Instead of writing lists of resolutions, a couple of my friends wrote their goals for this year out in one word. I thought this was a really great idea, but wasn't really for me. Since this is my first year in a long time even writing resolutions I figured I should stick to the list and then maybe in a couple of years I will try it that way. As I thought about the goals I have made though, I did think of one word that summed up most of them: LOVE. That didn't quite encompass everything I want for this year though so I added one more: LEARN.

LOVE: I have spent the past few years being really bitter and self-centered. I don't know why. I just have. I have had opportunities to make life long friendships with people I absolutely adore, and have completely let them slip away. I haven't kept in touch with friends I do have, and I've held grudges toward people I care deeply for and let that hurt our relationship. Until a month ago I had never done my visiting teaching unless my partner set it up because I was too afraid to take charge. I'm totally sick of this. I don't want to be that kind of person. So this year I've decided, or better yet, resolved!, to open my heart. I want to lose myself in loving other people. Because I really do love people! I just really stink at showing it. I want to stop being shy and closed off, I want to make friendships and nurture the relationships I am so blessed to have.

LEARN: And for the other half of my 2014, there is so much I want to learn! Like I said I feel like there is so much potential this year, and I want to use it well. I am going to stop shying away from learning new things. For instance, I haven't blogged in years because I don't know how to design my blog the way I want. But I'm going to learn! I have a new camera and I am going to get as good as I can at using it. And I have more....

Anyway though I am so excited for this year! No more avoiding life and all the goodness it holds. I am going to love and learn till I don't have room to be bitter and stagnant anymore!

Twenty Five

A couple months ago I turned 25, and although I don't feel old yet I feel like I've hit a milestone. It made me think a little, and it hit me that I am exactly where I always wanted to be at this age. Back in school or church when we were asked to write our goals or where we planned to be in 10 years the most important things to me were that I was married in the Temple to an amazing guy (and was still married), and was a mom. I feel so blessed to be where I am right now. I married that amazing guy I had dreamed of in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple back in 2010 and I can gladly say I love him so much more now than I did that day. And a couple years later had an adorable baby girl and now the cutest little boy ever!

Although the road to get here wasn't quite like I expected it would be, and I know there are a lot more surprises to come, it is so much better than I imagined it would be. And I had high expectations! Being a mom is the greatest thing in the world. I'm literally not exaggerating at all. It's the hardest thing I have ever done, but it truly is the best thing in the world to me.

Sometimes I catch myself wanting more. I want a house, and I want to be closer to family, and I want to live in a city that isn't freezing all the time and has more than one grocery store. But it doesn't take a lot to stop and realize how great life is even without those things. All I really need is what I have, and that is my loving husband who comes home to us every night after work, the ability to care for my children and love them every day, and my testimony. Life would be so different without the gospel of Jesus Christ. I get to go through every day knowing that my family and I are loved and watched over, and that even if bad things happen, we will be together forever after this. I have so much to be thankful for! Life really is beautiful!